Think a little

I didn't mean it that way
I wonder why it spoiled your day
Why didn't you ever say

You are too sensitive
Your thoughts are too negative
I am not to blame
Cause you don't play the game

How often have you hid behind these excises
How often have you ignored someone's bruises
How often have you laughed at other plight
Just because you thought it was alright

What has changed?
Why is kindness estranged?
How have we lost all affection?
When did we lose our human connection?

Can we all just start to care?
Can we open our hearts to listen and share?
Can we give hugs and smile more?
Can we become better people at our very core?

Tanvee

Another

One more tragedy
How many more will we see
Before we face the reality
It feels like we lack simple humanity

Connected yet so alone
Strong yet so torn
Families are distant
Conversations are non-existent

Non one is a friend
Most have themselves to defend
Nobody to say it's going to be alright
Most living at the speed of light

Darkness might engulf you
Only to be noticed at your final adieu
Talk of the town when you are gone
Forgotten with the next dawn

Tanvee

Good bye

You did hold on

You even smiled along

I know you will fight till I say so

Do I really have to let go

Doubt I can ask for more

I will be strong, that’s what I vowed

I am scared to say that out loud

Wanting more of you can’t be a crime

One more day a little more time

Is that too selfish of me

But it is a genuine plea

I am not ready for our story to end

I am not ready to lose my best friend

I know you want me say my good bye

I do it even though I am afraid

I watch the light in your eyes fade

I tell you I will be alright

I promise I will face the night

I can hear the silence in your breath

I see your gentle smile as you embrace death

Tanvee

When I read

When I read an obituary
I wonder how it might be
When it ill all be over for me
Will I really be free?

Will I disappear in thin air
Will I be soul that doesn't care
Will there be no more stress
Will I not feel like a mess

Will I miss my life here
Will I still told the same fear
Will I still want some quiet
Will I not always be on a diet

When I read an obituary
I wonder what might be
When I am no longer around
Will I find happiness I never found?

Tanvee

A letter for those left behind

I am sorry I had to send you away
I am sorry I couldn't do more for you
I am sorry I realised I had no choice
I am sorry I couldn't assure your safety at home everyday

I have watched your mind deteriorate
I watched as you look straight through me as if I don't exist
I watched you trying to leave home in search of home that your mind would create

I have heard you cry in despair
I have heard you shout in anger and fear
I have heard you talk to people who not near

I am sorry I couldn't do more
I am sorry you didn't feel safe in your own house
I am sorry you couldn't recognise your own spouse

I promise you will always be precious to me
I promise I will always love you
I promise I will always make  sure you are ok
most of all I promise you will not be forgotten


Tanvee

Feelings

Are you feeling alright
Is the world becoming a scary sight
Do you fear what might
We are in this together
We might not know each other
But our worries are similar

Are you thinking about the end
Is being normal more difficult to pretend
Do you fear the real intend
Thinking about your families far away
Knowing we might not have another day


Tanvee

What if

What if
The best is behind you
and there is nothing you can do
all that is left is the errie silence
No more kids screaming around creating a nuisance
Do you feel their absence?

What if
The best is behind you
Moment that fill you with dread are now true
Every moment a blanket of emptiness
No more rat race pettiness
Do you feel like everything is a mess

What if
The best is behind you
Your life no longer has value
Everything you worked for is gone
Friends and families are torn
Do you feel it's time for you to mourn?

What will you do
When you know it's all over
Will you be a better lover
Will you stop being a pushover

What will you do
When you have no control
Will you continue selling your soul

What will you do
When you have your next tiff
Will you live without the fear of what if?

Tanvee

I found it the hard way

I found it the hard way
It's always a lonely day
You will have company
Someone to watch a movie
But it will always be a dark night

I found it the hard way
It's going to fade away
You will have a family
But your heart will still want to be free

I found it the hard way
Even as they say
Every smile will remind you
That love can not always be true.

On my own...

First steps on my own
I'm ok being alone
My decision to walk away
My life to seize the day

First love left behind
I'm ok in mind
My hear breaks
My soul aches

First look away
I'm ok to say
My pain will go
My love will grow..

Change..

I have changed
I know you find it strange
But you need to let go
You need to know
I want to be on my own
I don't want to feel so torn

I want to have a say
I know you feel I have moved away
But you need to understand me
You need to see
I want dreams that I can call mine
I want my own light to shine

I wish for something more
I know it's behind locked doors
But you need to open your eyes
You need to break all ties
I want to live with no fear
I want to shed no tear

I'm so afraid..

I hide behind closed doors
I look away from the light
Against me I have to fight

As fear takes away my smile
I walk in shadows
I stay on my own as life goes

I speak no words
I silently survive
Each day I have to strive

My doubts hold me back
I'm so afraid
I dont think I can move ahead

Do you feel like me?

Do you feel like me?

Do you feel lost in this world?

Everyone rushing past you

No one looking back

Do you feel like me?
Do you feel like an outsider to life

Everyone walking away

No one just holding on

Do you feel like me?

Do you feel the emptiness?

Everyone leaving you behind

No one really cares...

I wonder if..

Thoughts wondering

Feelings lost

Nothing is known

Every breath is new

I wonder if this is how it will always be

Tears rolling

Fears hidden

Nothing is sure

Every stare is a blank

I wonder if this will ever change

Holding me back

I know I want to change
I know I need a different path
I know I need a new start
but somethings are holding me back

I know I have to take the first step
I know I need to be strong
I know I need to move on
but somethings are holding me back

I know I should  start now
I know I need my own way
I know I need my own day
but somethings are holding me back


I know I want answers
I know I need some space
I know I need a safe place
but somethings are holding me back

Nothing i can do

Where did all those years go?
Nothing seems the way it was
Its a feeling that i don't know
Deep inside i can feel the loss

You say things are fine
You feel the same
But i can no longer say you are mine
All i know is your name

Your smile is fake
Your words not true
I can see us break
But nothing i can do..

????

Do i really matter?
Or am i just another person?
Someone to hangout and have fun

Is my presence really felt?
Or am i just a shadow?
Putting up a show

Will I really be missed?
Or am i just a lost heart?
Whose absence will create a new start....

Love has taught me

Love has taught me to be alone
Love has made me stronger
Love has made me mend a heart torn
Love has taught me to wait no longer

Love is not what i thought it was
Love is not always a smile
Love is not following natures laws
Love is always away a mile

Love has taught me to be alone
Love has made me stronger
Love has made me not hope for a spark
Love has taught me to wait no longer

Love is not always a call away
Love is not always true
Love is not what they say
Love is always to hurt you

why do i still love?
why do i still hold on to a hope?
Why do i still believe?
One day love will turn my world around...

You say you understand

You say you understand
And you close the door behind
Bare walls is all I find
As the clock ticks
The emptiness grows
I have nowhere to go
With every passing day
I think I like the silence
I have got used to your absence
The walls no longer haunt
Time stops for me
I can be myself with no one to see
As you walk away
It’s a beginning of a new day
With the doors closed
Loneliness creeps in for company
Shadows begin entertaining me
I no longer need your hand
Yet you say you understand….

See through my eyes...

See through my eye
Everything real is a lie
I can see a tear in a smile
I can feel the fear from a mile

See through my eye
Everything has a hidden cry
I can see the truth hidden deep
I can feel the shadows creep

See through my eye
Everything is to die
I can see your life fade away
I can feel the end of a day

See through my eye
Everything will pass by
I can see the buried remains
I can feel the unspoken pain

See through my eye
You will know I don’t lie…

My world..

My world…
My world is small
My world is lonely
I can hear happy sounds drifting by
I can only imagine

My world is dark
My world is cold
I can see some light through the gaps
I can only dream

My world is different
My world is a sad
I can feel love at a distance
I can only wish

I can only wish
My world was happy
My world had a day
I could take a step closer
I could feel all the joy

I can only wish
My world was like yours
My world had lot of smiles
I could hold your hand
I could find someone who cares

I can only wish
My world you find
My world you save
I could just see life
I could for once feel alive….