Good bye

You did hold on

You even smiled along

I know you will fight till I say so

Do I really have to let go

Doubt I can ask for more

I will be strong, that’s what I vowed

I am scared to say that out loud

Wanting more of you can’t be a crime

One more day a little more time

Is that too selfish of me

But it is a genuine plea

I am not ready for our story to end

I am not ready to lose my best friend

I know you want me say my good bye

I do it even though I am afraid

I watch the light in your eyes fade

I tell you I will be alright

I promise I will face the night

I can hear the silence in your breath

I see your gentle smile as you embrace death

Tanvee

When I read

When I read an obituary
I wonder how it might be
When it ill all be over for me
Will I really be free?

Will I disappear in thin air
Will I be soul that doesn't care
Will there be no more stress
Will I not feel like a mess

Will I miss my life here
Will I still told the same fear
Will I still want some quiet
Will I not always be on a diet

When I read an obituary
I wonder what might be
When I am no longer around
Will I find happiness I never found?

Tanvee

A letter for those left behind

I am sorry I had to send you away
I am sorry I couldn't do more for you
I am sorry I realised I had no choice
I am sorry I couldn't assure your safety at home everyday

I have watched your mind deteriorate
I watched as you look straight through me as if I don't exist
I watched you trying to leave home in search of home that your mind would create

I have heard you cry in despair
I have heard you shout in anger and fear
I have heard you talk to people who not near

I am sorry I couldn't do more
I am sorry you didn't feel safe in your own house
I am sorry you couldn't recognise your own spouse

I promise you will always be precious to me
I promise I will always love you
I promise I will always make  sure you are ok
most of all I promise you will not be forgotten


Tanvee

Feelings

Are you feeling alright
Is the world becoming a scary sight
Do you fear what might
We are in this together
We might not know each other
But our worries are similar

Are you thinking about the end
Is being normal more difficult to pretend
Do you fear the real intend
Thinking about your families far away
Knowing we might not have another day


Tanvee

What if

What if
The best is behind you
and there is nothing you can do
all that is left is the errie silence
No more kids screaming around creating a nuisance
Do you feel their absence?

What if
The best is behind you
Moment that fill you with dread are now true
Every moment a blanket of emptiness
No more rat race pettiness
Do you feel like everything is a mess

What if
The best is behind you
Your life no longer has value
Everything you worked for is gone
Friends and families are torn
Do you feel it's time for you to mourn?

What will you do
When you know it's all over
Will you be a better lover
Will you stop being a pushover

What will you do
When you have no control
Will you continue selling your soul

What will you do
When you have your next tiff
Will you live without the fear of what if?

Tanvee

I found it the hard way

I found it the hard way
It's always a lonely day
You will have company
Someone to watch a movie
But it will always be a dark night

I found it the hard way
It's going to fade away
You will have a family
But your heart will still want to be free

I found it the hard way
Even as they say
Every smile will remind you
That love can not always be true.

On my own...

First steps on my own
I'm ok being alone
My decision to walk away
My life to seize the day

First love left behind
I'm ok in mind
My hear breaks
My soul aches

First look away
I'm ok to say
My pain will go
My love will grow..