A letter for those left behind

I am sorry I had to send you away
I am sorry I couldn't do more for you
I am sorry I realised I had no choice
I am sorry I couldn't assure your safety at home everyday

I have watched your mind deteriorate
I watched as you look straight through me as if I don't exist
I watched you trying to leave home in search of home that your mind would create

I have heard you cry in despair
I have heard you shout in anger and fear
I have heard you talk to people who not near

I am sorry I couldn't do more
I am sorry you didn't feel safe in your own house
I am sorry you couldn't recognise your own spouse

I promise you will always be precious to me
I promise I will always love you
I promise I will always make  sure you are ok
most of all I promise you will not be forgotten


Tanvee

Feelings

Are you feeling alright
Is the world becoming a scary sight
Do you fear what might
We are in this together
We might not know each other
But our worries are similar

Are you thinking about the end
Is being normal more difficult to pretend
Do you fear the real intend
Thinking about your families far away
Knowing we might not have another day


Tanvee

What if

What if
The best is behind you
and there is nothing you can do
all that is left is the errie silence
No more kids screaming around creating a nuisance
Do you feel their absence?

What if
The best is behind you
Moment that fill you with dread are now true
Every moment a blanket of emptiness
No more rat race pettiness
Do you feel like everything is a mess

What if
The best is behind you
Your life no longer has value
Everything you worked for is gone
Friends and families are torn
Do you feel it's time for you to mourn?

What will you do
When you know it's all over
Will you be a better lover
Will you stop being a pushover

What will you do
When you have no control
Will you continue selling your soul

What will you do
When you have your next tiff
Will you live without the fear of what if?

Tanvee

I found it the hard way

I found it the hard way
It's always a lonely day
You will have company
Someone to watch a movie
But it will always be a dark night

I found it the hard way
It's going to fade away
You will have a family
But your heart will still want to be free

I found it the hard way
Even as they say
Every smile will remind you
That love can not always be true.

On my own...

First steps on my own
I'm ok being alone
My decision to walk away
My life to seize the day

First love left behind
I'm ok in mind
My hear breaks
My soul aches

First look away
I'm ok to say
My pain will go
My love will grow..

Change..

I have changed
I know you find it strange
But you need to let go
You need to know
I want to be on my own
I don't want to feel so torn

I want to have a say
I know you feel I have moved away
But you need to understand me
You need to see
I want dreams that I can call mine
I want my own light to shine

I wish for something more
I know it's behind locked doors
But you need to open your eyes
You need to break all ties
I want to live with no fear
I want to shed no tear

I'm so afraid..

I hide behind closed doors
I look away from the light
Against me I have to fight

As fear takes away my smile
I walk in shadows
I stay on my own as life goes

I speak no words
I silently survive
Each day I have to strive

My doubts hold me back
I'm so afraid
I dont think I can move ahead