Take me away

I miss you a lot
Since the time you have left
I feel a void within me
I wish you hadn’t left me behind
Without you to this world I’m blind.

The day we parted ways
I had to go back to loneliness
You had taken it away when we met
With a promise to always be there we started a new world
A promise you never kept.
A world that was shattered without a word.

I wonder why it had to be you
Why weren’t we given a little more time?
To capture life together
To collect memories forever

As I drown in my grief
I see you standing by me...
You reach out for my hand
And make a promise to always beside me stand.
My eyes close to the world behind
With you I will a new life surely find.

I don't understand us any more
I feel shut out behind a closed door
When I look around I no more know who am I?
It so difficult for me to gather the truth from the lie

I believed in you,
Held on to every word you said...
All this for leaving me dead
I fought the inner voice that held me back
Maybe if I had listened I would still be on track.

Now I'm lost, don't know where to go
In this darkness the path won't show.
I wish I never trusted you
I wished I knew what was really true

You cheated me and left me hurt
As I wait for life to end...
A little prayer upwards I do send
I pray never to meet a person like you next birth!!!!

When you are gone

I feel so lost
I feel so alone
I feel like I have no where to go
I feel like I have no one to talk

I wish all this would end
I wish I didn’t need so much to depend
I wish I could be on my own
I wish my heart didn’t feel so torn

Life has played a game on me
Given me what I always wanted
With a dark lining that I never did see
Its mocked at me and left a soul forever haunted

I sit here waiting for someone to listen
I sit here hoping for someone to understand
I search for an answer to my problems
I search for peace within myself

All this with a hope that’s fading away
With love that I can no longer feel
With dreams that no longer seem as real
With a life that no longer seems alive

I woke only to find myself in a pitch dark place…my mind seemed paralyzed as I tried to accustom myself to my surroundings I was always scared of being alone in the dark, I tried to rationalize my thoughts figuring out why I was surrounded by the thing I hated most??? What was I doing sometime back? Wasn’t I at work? I left in the morning for work as usual today, in the afternoon I had an appointment with the chairman of the Bravery award academy ,I was being felicitated later this month for my courage to standup against one of the highly acknowledged ministers in the country.

When I think about it now I’m glad I left it behind me. The stress, insecurity during the hearing was a bit too much for me. I was given 24/7 security till the hearing and the media hyped up the situation, changing me from a nobody to a Hero in no time.

To start off with I was happy I was suddenly popular at work; people knew me and even stopped to congratulate me for my bravery. I felt happy cause to achieve this level of success all I had to do was spare 5 minutes of my schedule and speak the truth. All this lasted only for a few days..to be precise only for 2 days and then suddenly we started getting calls to take back our statements, I had a bigger and better job offer. The resistances only made me fight harder wanting to see the crook behind bars. I felt like a Hero trying to save the world from the clutches of the evil and then one day when the police barged into our house demanding us to vacate and took me away from my family into a protective house arrest my dream world collapsed. I was 200 miles away from my family, I was surrounded my men in uniform with guns, I was ordered not to get out of the house my job was taken up by another and I had no contact with the world outside. Days went on to become weeks and week to a few months.

Then came the judgment day I was taken to the court in a bullet proof van with meshed window..in my mind I felt like a hardcore criminal kept away from the world surrounded by guards. My thoughts were disturbed when my name was called out to appear before the judge. There I was standing face to face with the person whose death was in my hands. I looked at him hoping to see a guilty face but was taken aback by the revengeful eyes with which he saw me. I quickly finished my work and was out of the court…my family waiting for me.

Things would at last be normal I had no threat to my life now.

Life went back to a routine as usually I yo-yoed between office and home and I was again an unknown until the bravery academy thought of honoring me.

This faithful morning I was on my visit to the chairman of the academy when out of no where I felt a blow on my head things blacked out and I guess I passed out…now I’m sitting here all alone, was I kidnapped?? Were they going to kill me?? Suddenly out of no where I hear my mom’s voice, she doesn’t sound happy…and then I can hear her quivering voice ‘She hates darkness and now she has to live with it for the rest of her life’…

While struggling through each step in the desert, there was a splash of cool water on my back...which brought me back to reality. Day dreaming has always been a passion but I surprised myself when I was following my passion even during the most extreme condition. Here I was struggling to find a way back to civilization. Just to give you guys an idea of how a super model got stranded in the middle off nowhere...we had come all the way to this desert for a photo shoot. I was excited I had never really shot outside my usual shots were all captured in the four walls of the photo studio. This was my first ever natural shoot. Here I was dressed in the most obnoxious outfit made, sweating more than I would sweat at my workouts and I had to carry all this with a smile.

People around me thought I had it all my glamorous lifestyle was a great way of hiding the deep secrets of a model anyways being a model was fun I did get all the attention and everybody around me made me look perfect all the time. I had a makeup artist a hairdresser a dress fitter the list was so long…

As for my first outdoor shoot things where going great during the first half at least that’s what I thought I changed a dozen outfits and shoes, all so uncomfortable yet beautiful for the Fashion magazine people. After an entire day of hard work we were to wrap up post one last shot…one last outfit to change and one last style to potray..i was dressed in a gown with a corset so tight I had trouble breathing and the gown so huge it had to be lifted by four other to get me moving.

That’s when nature decided to play its trick on me. It became windy, our crew members started moving towards the vanity vans but the photographer was a bit too professional and determined to finish the shoot so the model (that’s me) and the photographer were left behind to wrap up the shoot. As time passed the wing grew stronger making it impossible for me to manage posing so Rob (that’s the photographers name) decided we should cut the shoot short…saying this he just walked away leaving me struggling behind.

Each step was difficult for me to take and as the wind blew the images around me became blur and not only was it difficult for me to walk but also difficult to look around me for help…

As I continued to curse my luck there was again a splash of cold water on my back..this time I was sure it wasn’t my imagination I turned around irritated to find my entire crew standing behind me, each one had a grin on their face…I looked around the photo shoot was on and the model whose makeup was my responsibility was outside at the shoot with Rob. The weather looked bright and sunny….that’s when I realized I was at it again…I was Day dreaming…I better go and change before I get drenched again.

Tanvee Nadkarni

Frightening indeed….this technology!

Frightening indeed….this technology!
I came across this line while browsing through another blog. The line actually got me thinking. It made me think was technology actually invading us??? Do we have to compete with technology to survive and keep ourselves going? Or is technology our answer to the complications of life? Is it our way of finding solution for the betterment of human race???


The mosquitoes dint let me sleep they attack me the entire time I lay down. How was I to ward off these creatures????? I wish there was something made to keep them away after the sun went down. They enjoyed and feasted the few hours I went to bed especially since I have to sleep with my window open and position myself directly under the morning rays of the sun so as to wake up with the first rays and then rush to work.
Depending on nature for reaching work just before the boss was really tough…it had it’s own ways of playing a joke on me by waking me a little later than usual when I had loads to finish at work. I wish I had something that could be more dependable to wake me up and help me reach office in time. Anyways no use of wishing cause there is nothing I can do about it except hurrying up my chores and rushing all the way to office.
To reach office I have to take about 10,000 steps one way. I keep track of the number of steps I take to work so as to pass time what else can I do? I hum a tune which I heard Mrs. Xxx sing the other day she is good at it actually the only talented singer in our town and I love hearing her but she charges a lot of money for each song she sings for u its her way of livelihood. I wish I could capture what she things and listen to it all the way to work….ok enough of wishing actually one last wish let Miss yyy reach a little later than me let the sun at her end rise a little later than mine else I will have to hear her scream for the entire day cursing me for not being on time…how do I manage being ahead of her everyday? I need to hire a detective to note down her every move and be at work before her J sounds fun!!! but who can afford one??
……Ninenintyninethoushand……ten thousand and there am at work. The building looks nice it’s a small 2 storey thing with about 50 people cramped up inside the builder wanted to increase the stories but it was impossible for the workers to carry all the stuff required by them to the top without hurting and tiring themselves…it would be a lot more comfortable for us though not to be sticking into each others nose while working on the barter system….I forgot to mention my company handles property for people (the class of society) who cannot manage keeping a track of their trading they did come to us on daily basis actually they hire people to carry material across long distance to get to us. Sometimes we are also made to go all the way to our clients because they have more to offer us. We have groups of people to calculate trade, to run and quickly pass important messages to the clients (these are usually athletes ) then there are others who keep track of all the work we have done, list of our clients etc…there is so much paper around….Its a tough job..for all of us..
The entire day goes by really fast at work, today I had about 20 people coming to me with all their trading details and now as the sun sets my head stops functioning I’m tired and have to force myself back home dragging my feet another 10,000 steps. Why is there nothing that would allow me to sit and move all the way back and forth????
By the time I reach home it’s already dark outside and the attackers are back…today I don’t need to sleep outside tomorrow is my off every seven days I get an off. We keep track on this religiously J I prepare some supper for me actually I just eat an apple because I’m tired of lighting fire to cook my meal and then I slip under the blankets…thinking about my family, I miss them I had to start living on my own because my work place was really far from home…I wish I could talk to my mom …before I drift to a sleep I send a prayer up to heaven asking god to find a solution to all my problems…surprising god answers with a bell….I smile…happy to know my prayers were acknowledged the bell continues to grow louder and louder my the minute…it reaches a point where I cant bear it any longer….I twist and turn hold the blanket over my ears to stop the ringing in my ears but it doesn’t…just then I hear my mom scream my name…I open my eyes…and there she is screaming in my ears oops I had my hands free on…I usually set the alarm clock and always tell my mom to wake me up so I can reach work on time…so she calls each morning…as the dream fades out, my mind becomes a little clear about everything I speak to my family living a flight away tell them I miss them and rush out to work. My work place is an hour away but I enjoy the journey that the time I get to listen to my favorite artist on my ipod as I sit by my favorite window seat in the company bus.
Am I glad god answered my prayers by sending technology to the rescue....


Technology is making it possible to spread emotions & smiles virtually,yet these are real enough to touch the heart.
Tanvee Nadkarni

To my granddad – my inspiration

This a word of thanks to my inspiration
This is a way of me showing my admiration
I wish I had done this earlier
I wish my thoughts had been clearer
I’m hoping you would still read it
And see in my life the light that you lit

From the time I can remember
You have always been my teacher
You taught me to follow my dreams
However impossible they seemed
I was always proud of you
Looked up to everything you ever did do

For me you were the best
Someone who always quenched my knowledge quest
You made me feel special
Even at times when I wasn’t capable
You always stood by me
Making it easier through darkness to see

I wish I could have told you this in person
But wasn’t wise enough then to have taken up the decision
I miss your presence
Feel lost in your absence
Why did you have to go?
I needed you so much more
Even now I hope one day you would be there
By my side, telling me you still care

There is so much more I wanted to tell you
There is so much for you I wanted to do
I wanted you to know that I loved you
I wanted to thank you
I thank god because he made you my granddad
For me you were the greatest inspiration I ever had.

Tanvee Nadkarni