Is it really me???

My life doesn’t seem mine
Thousands of voices speak
Making me weak
Telling me what to do
Telling me who to be
I wish I could draw the line

Their thoughts are my guide
I live for them
With no one but me to blame
Believing their words to be mine
Believing my life to be theirs
I wish from all this I could hide

I have no love of my own
Nothing that belongs to me
Not even my soul
Fearing the words I speak
Fearing the steps I take
As I live in a world unknown

I tread along barren land
With no want or hope
With a blind conscious
My confidence has disappeared
My smile has faded
As I continue to be dragged by some unknown hand

End of a new beginning

I could feel your heart
Its rhythm aligned with mine
I could picture your face
With a little of my trace

You made me feel complete
You gave me a reason to live
I spent my days waiting to hold you
Waiting for my dreams to come true

Your were my sunshine
You were my
You were the one who had given me the courage
To take-up this new voyage

For months I prayed for your safety
For months I thanked god
I imagined our time together
Filling my heart with pleasure

Then came the time
When you would see the world with me
With every clock tick
My heart began to panic

I could feel something wrong
You weren’t being your self
Your soul seemed to have gone
Leaving behind a dark dawn

You lay in my arms
Wrapped in love
Your face was perfect, your fingers so small
I held on to you hoping for a miracle
Hoping you would smile back at me
Hoping I would hear your crying
But somewhere in my heart I knew this was the end of a new beginning

Paint it black

Paint it black
Don’t let the pain show
Hide the drifts
Don’t let them grow

Paint it black
The color of hate
Holding together a relation
By luck and fate

Paint it black
Coz my heart feels cold
Caressing loneliness
Which with time unfolds

Paint it black
Our pictures together
Reminding of time
Which I will regret forever

Paint it black
Nothing else you can do
You hid you cheated
Its only anger I feel for you

Paint it black
Cover what remains
I don’t want memories
Lingering around causing pain

Paint it black
Coz those days were dark
They captured my soul
Leaving behind a life without a spark

Paint it black
Leave it that way
Hiding all my sorrows
Burying my rainy days

My mommy strongest :)

She held my hand at every step
She is my strength at every fall
She is my pillar on which I blindly lean
She is my courage that remains unseen

She has been with me all my life
She cared for me with all her love
Looked after my needs with all her heart
She has protected me even though we were apart

She hid her compromise with a smile
Just to give me the life I live
She has shared her joys and covered her pain
Just so that my happiness remains

She has heard me cry
She has heard me scream
She has felt my pain
Even before I complain

She watched me walk away from home
She watched me as I drifted to a world of friends
Yet she stood by me when the world turned away
Together with me she waited till the night turned day

I have never really thanked her
For the love she bestowed upon me
For making me feel like the luckiest daughter
To have such a wonderful friends a wonderful mother


Thank you Aai

!!!

As the pain cuts through
Silently I watch you
A smile spreads across your face
No signs of regret I could trace

I had put my trust in you
Believed every word you said was true
You hid behind the shadows of hate
Planning my death as a part of your fate

I had never done you any wrong
For your hatred to be so strong
Your eyes filled with remorse
As if crying over somebody’s loss

As I struggled to stay alive
I knew this is the end I wouldn’t survive
I wish I had known what had I done
To be killed by my own son

One last time

I wish I could start all over again
I want to stop feeling the pain
No one understands me
No one my fear can see

I try and talk to those who say they love me
I try and explain I feel so cramped I want to be free
But no one listens to what I have to say
They only advise me to change my way

I cry when the lights are out
My mind in fear and in doubt
With no one to turn to
No answers of what to do

Hiding behind closed doors
Lying of the cold floor
The blade cuts through
To a feeling which is not so new

As the wound becomes deeper
I move a step closer
To a world unknown
To life not so torn

I can see the blood seep
I can hear my heart weep
But I know I have to be strong
I know this won't take long

One last time I take a look around
One last time I can feel my feet on the ground
One last time I can hear my sobs
One last time….

My lil sis

I have watched you grow
From a baby who held on to my hand
To a girl with a confident stand

I have seen you take your first steps
I have heard your first words
Now when I look at you
I smile at how fast time has gone by

From my baby doll
To a partner to visit the mall
Together we have built castles in air
Stood strong, as we have seen them break

I'm glad I have a friend at home
Who listens to me talk
Who, copies my walk
Who talks till I sleep
Who makes me laugh when I weep

I want to tell you
How precious you are to me
A reflection of mine in your eyes I see
Thank you for being such a great friend
Thank you for being such a great sister!!!